Social Awkwardity

Mind. Body. Spirit.

Last week I decided to take a break from a lot of the deep, hardcore-wisdom-growing, books I’ve been reading and dive into a relaxing, predictable, romance novel.

I picked the wrong one, guys.

Instead of being 100% predictable, we’re at about a 65-75% predictability range. And, to me, this one is actually well written. Whoa. Why is it the wrong one? Because. The girl’s story is of chronic anxiety disorder and the steps she has taken/is taking to care for herself and find happiness as she manages her mental issues. And the guy, his is a story of brokenness and coming to terms with finding out after 15 years that he isn’t the father of the daughter he raised and loved. The emotions, struggles, thoughts, etc. are so well represented in the words that it has sent me on note-taking frenzies more than once. So in essence, my brain has had no break. Dammit.

The last 20 minutes of my commute home from work is in the country and it’s my favorite part of my drive. The other day, I was well into this part of my drive and I was taking in my surroundings all contemplative and shit. I noticed a single-wide trailer just off the road behind a patch of trees. I’ve never noticed it before. The lights were on in several of the windows because it was beginning to get dark (which is also my favorite time of day because of my best childhood memories) and it just occurred to me, “THERE IS A WHOLE LIFE THAT SOMEONE IS LIVING RIGHT THERE! AND I’M JUST NOTICING.” And that snowballed into the deepest of depths because that is the case with every single person and every little detail around you every second of the day.

And ya’ll, I shit you not… a new chapter of that audiobook novel began 5 minutes later with this:

sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Shook.

The universe might as well have grown a mouth at that moment and said, “Hey Alisa, pay attention to this. It’s 10-10-10 for your mind.”

Self-care has become more of a buzz word and trend rather than an authentic journey and catalyst of change. But I’m holding on. I still, more than ever, want to continue evolving into the best version of myself I can be. Self-care is the first step and when done well, creates a lifestyle of self awareness. This last week its become abundantly clear that self awareness is completely empty (and probably impossible) without human awareness. Sonder.

Our minds are so saturated that we so easily forget to remember. Failing to remember and failing to be aware of things outside of ourselves builds walls around our minds. Growth stops at those walls. We have to expand our minds past the walls we’ve built around ourselves to become better people. How? Experiences. Not just your own, but other people’s experiences, stories, lives. Human awareness is what opens us up.

Think thoughts of things you never thought to think of before. HA!

Do things you never thought to do before.

-A